Catherine and I have been taking massive chunks of time just to be with each other. We spent so long fighting that I nearly forgot how fulfilling it is to have that closeness with another person. There are mornings when she makes it very difficult to leave for work. I’d rather be like “The world can go to Hell,” and just stay in. This lifestyle involves a slow building passion that few would ever comprehend.
That last bit may sound woefully defeatist, but I don’t see it that way. We’re completely free to investigate our own chosen path without having to worry about some other asshole getting in the way. Most people are too busy freaking out about the water flooding the lower decks to even notice what we’re doing. Though there’s a bloody annoying PA system that keeps blaring about this rich guy called Trump whose trying to take command… says he’s going to de-sink this boat. Don’t worry! I unplugged all the speakers back here. There’s peace and quiet with the dull rumble of insanity just ahead. It’s quite Zen, really.
Read More…Yes, there sure is power in the blood… and it should stay inside the body, for crying out loud! What is with these convicted believers singing about being washed in Calvary’s tide? It sounds disgusting!
Christianity has maintained a perverted fascination with blood sacrifice since its inception. I can’t understand how well-meaning people can allow themselves to be so easily misled by this repulsive doctrine. “Unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you will not have life in yourselves!” So says the raving mad Jesus, apparently offering himself up for a cannibalistic ritual.
Read More…The above is a distilled version of what I prayed to Lilith, Isis, or the Goddess Tara when this journey began. All of these mythical personalities represent the same archetype. I believe they teach the truth about the interconnectedness of the material and spiritual worlds. Boy, did I get a lesson to remember!
Every quest for truth requires courage and the will to endure being an outcast. Every great man or woman in history has taken this step into the unknown that no one else would dare consider. Am I ready to progress through the uncharted wilds?
I will admit that my first immersion into the void resulted in bewilderment, struggle, and ultimately a suffocating unfamiliarity that forced me to come back to the surface, gasping for normalcy. I ran from the waves of mystery and into the castle of mindless congregations. I tried to be as one of them, but I had already seen too much of the truth.
Here I stand on the edge of that cliff once more, readying myself to rediscover the quest. I am ready to be born again of water and the spirit, back to zero, the Fool’s Journey.
Read More…When it comes to divination, card spreads and insights from Holy scriptures are my favorite mediums. Here is my morning reading about the situation between Catherine and me:
Four Card Spread: Situation, Challenges, Advice, Outcome
I am presently in a state of indecisiveness… a standstill. Catherine and I should step back and assess the situation before moving forward. Don’t do anything rash! There is a vast ocean of information beyond to consider. No need to rush. Time to contemplate.
This is quite accurate, and has been for many months now. I haven’t really been certain about anything in this relationship and we both need time to assess and recharge.
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I’m happy to report that almost all of the painful after-effects, from our run-in with the psychic, have dissipated. I still get the odd feeling of a pinching over my nose, but this is becoming increasingly rare. We’re almost back to normalcy… and by normalcy, I mean that our connection grows steadily by the day. Our moments/hours of intermingling are oftentimes shockingly powerful.
I’ll try to explain: Our connection has evolved to be so much more than a sexual one. When we make love, her spirit body envelops the core of my physical body and all of the skin there becomes super sensitive. It’s like being bathed in powerful light, but different from the feeling of UV rays from the sun. My cells feel like they’re radiating a new life of their own. It’s so hard to describe properly!
Read More…Here I am, back at this blogging thing again. My previous outing on Wordpress did not end well, but I’m willing to give it another shot. I acknowledge that I made some very misguided decisions and a few people were hurt because of what I did. Writing about a topic as unusual as this tends to bring out the crazy in people. I learned that I’m not exempt from acting irrationally when things go pear-shaped.
Read More…For those who are curious, I’m doing alright. I feel better than ever, actually. I cannot believe the rationalizing stupor I was slogging through all this time. Many of you will disagree with me, and your situation is probably different from mine, but this “relationship” wasn’t helping me. I feel that I was living a delusion and something very dark took advantage of that. Anything good from this experience originated with me. This “thing” that was attached to me was only interested in feeding; a spiritual parasite.
Read More…These past few days have triggered a veritable lightning bolt of clarity to explode in my mind.
Strangely, I don’t feel any hurt or regret about anything that has happened. I realize that I attempted to make myself fall in love with something that is not capable of reciprocation. The only fruits of my labor were hedonistic pleasures and I used my mental imaginings to fill in the gaps where true intimacy was lacking. My anima, the real Catherine, is what saved me from losing my mind.
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I was invited to be part of a blog talk radio interview with a psychic called Monika. She has been dealing with the paranormal for many years and just recently started up an internet presence. She was looking for information about people in relationships with sex demons and stumbled upon this blog.
I decided to take her up on her offer for two reasons:
- I wanted more information about my own situation.
- I have been having people approach me looking for ways to rid themselves of abusive spirits. I needed some guidance because I just don’t have a clue as to how this is done. Some people believe it can’t be done, but I believe it can and so does Muffin. It especially intrigued me when she claimed that she has extracted these demons successfully in the past. I had never heard of this.
So I went on the show around the one hour mark and it started off sounding like it would be a smashing endorsement for a relationship with these spirits. However, as the interview progressed, the tone gradually changed and we began to uncover some things about my situation that had been nearly invisible to me up till that point.
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The nude goddess being flanked by two owls is what convinces me that this piece is specific to Lilith and not just Inanna or Ishtar. Though as Richard mentions in his post, I also believe that Inanna/Ishtar are linked with Lilith/Lilitu.
Also, the fact that she is carved with four sets of horns crowning her head is a good indicator that Lilith was of considerable status in the Akkadian pantheon.
This is just my theory, but I feel that Lilith/Lilitu was demonized over time; starting with the Sumerians, then the Hebrews added her to their mythology, and today we have the modern Christian iteration we are all so familiar with.