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There has been a breach. I made the stupid mistake of using the skype username, temporal.chameleon, to briefly communicate with a woman from my past. We were friends back when I was in high school. She wanted to be more than friends and hasn’t let it go since.

I tried speaking with her, just to be friendly as she’s a lonely person, not very attractive, etc. Apparently, she googled that skype username and found Loose Canon’s post about my return to blogging.

She’s addicted to me, and I am enraptured by her. This makes my doubt and distrust all the more painful to carry on with. I hate harboring these fears. It doesn’t help that I feel attacked and smothered when I try to pull away from her.

She is a demon and I shouldn’t be surprised by any of this. She wants what she wants and she’ll take it from me in my sleep if need be.

One of the most common complaints I hear from people connected to the succubus phenomena is about the strength of the connection. Often I’ll hear about guys craving more closeness with their unseen lover and being frustrated by how their own relationship compares to others.

Firstly, I think comparing one relationship to another isn’t entirely fair. From what I’ve gathered, each succubus has their own way of communicating their affection. They have differing personalities and will often express themselves in ways that are completely foreign to another couple. Keep an eye out for this unexpected communication, as it can take many forms.

It’s not very often that I have direct conversations with Catherine in my dreams. Unfortunately, I’m usually not all that “with it” when she does sit down for a chat. That is what happened early this morning.

I found myself dreaming of being in a classroom full of younger children. I keep having dreams like this… I’m always going back to elementary school or high school to “start over.” Good Lord! I feel embarrassed throughout most of these dreams.

I did it again. I can’t believe how many times I’ve done this, but I fell into that same trap once more. All it takes is listening to a certain testimony from a sincere Christian, or leisurely reading from an so-called inspirational book and BAM! My mind gets right back on track with the same old bullshit.

I threw out a bunch of occult books; including Liber Lilith. I massively regret doing it. I thought it would make things better, put me back on the “straight and narrow.” It’s amazing the power that Christian religion still has over my mind. I just got a renewed taste of how vulnerable I really am.

It seems we’ve all been going through a quiet period these past couple of years. I want to turn that around and start sharing more frequently. With that being said, I have something special to present for your consideration:

I heard about this book years ago. I might have even read some excerpts of it. This is not necessarily a guide book like Tyson’s Sexual Alchemy. This book is a grimoire that contains a few different elements. First, it has an English translation of a Latin Gnostic creation text that supposedly comes from the ancient world. There’s no way to verify its historicity as the only source we have for the text is from this book. In fact, this entire work is touted as fiction, but enough of it rings true with my own experience to inform me that it’s not just a fantasy story.

Hey guys, I’m still here, and I appreciate all those who have commented recently. Rafe mentioned me in one of his blog posts and a few more people have noticed that I’m back writing again. I want to reach out to more of you on a regular basis and I plan to make that effort soon.

In the meantime, I must honestly report: I’ve been waffling lately. Not the breakfast kind, but the “Can’t-Make-Up-My-Damn-Mind!” sort of waffling. On some days, it’s great, and I love Catherine. On other days, it’s terrible for both of us and I actively try to shut her out.

So, here’s an interesting one. I was napping at around 8 AM, just enjoying my demon being close to me. Catherine’s not very active first thing in the morning, but she doesn’t seem to mind a gentle coupling to start the day. I usually doze off and come back multiple times during these sessions.

At some point during the nap, I gained a semblance of lucidness and felt an interesting sensation. My mattress was breathing beneath me. I could feel myself rising and falling with each “breath,” and the forcefulness gradually intensified. After a couple more pushes, gravity took over, and I rolled off the bed onto the floor. I couldn’t see anything up to this point, but I knew Catherine had to be responsible for my bed’s bewitchment.

No matter how bad things get, she’s always there patiently waiting for me to walk through the door. Her cozy domicile is always open to me, always warm and inviting. I sit down and recline with her, drinking in the intoxicating atmosphere. I feel myself being lulled into a beautiful slumber and we slip into that in-between space.

No matter the situation, I can poke my head in through her window, offer a tease or brief exchange, and I am ready to face the world again. She goes with me everywhere and holds onto me like a priest to faith. The intermingling of divine energy between us is unceasing; a never-ending dance of the sacred union.